Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS

Tricky (Jahvel Hall): There’s no salvage this far out.
Bram van Baalen (Mark Oliver): You’re a lucky boy, Tricky. You’re an android. You don’t get bored.
Tricky: He won’t turn back, with half a cargo.
Bram: He’s not captain. We’re equal partners.
Tricky: Yeah. Right.

The Doctor: You said–
Clara: I know what I said. I was the one who said it.
The Doctor: You said it was looking at you funny.
Clara: I was tired. Overwrought. I didn’t mean it. It’s an appliance. It does a job.
The Doctor: Yes, pretty cool appliance. We’re not talking cheese grater here!
Clara: You’re not getting me to talk to your ship. That’s properly bonkers.

Clara: Ugh. You’re like one of those guys who can’t go out with a girl unless his mother approves.
The Doctor: It’s important to me you get along. I can leave you two alone together.
Clara: Now you’re creeping me out.
The Doctor: Take a wheel. Not the wheel. I’ll make it easy. Shut it down to basic mode for you.
Clara: Basic? ‘Cause I’m a girl?
The Doctor: No! {yes}

Clara: Please, tell me there’s a button you can press to fix this!
The Doctor: Oh yes. Big friendly button.
Clara: Are you lying?
The Doctor: Yep.
Clara: To stop me freaking out?
The Doctor: Is it working?
Clara: Not so much!

Gregor van Baalen (Ashley Walters): Use the thermo charge and blast it.
Tricky: No, wait! It’s like she’s alive. She’s suff— I can feel it. I can feel it!
Gregor: It’s just a robot, Bram.
Bram: No, Gregor. He’s right. Looks like there’s a broken fuel line.
Gregor: All right. All right. Put it back. no salvage today, boys. Open the bay doors.
Tricky: Wait. Somebody’s under that thing. The crew was still aboard when we dragged her in.
Gregor: We did nothing if anyone asks, right? The ship was already busted. You got that? And you, make sure you keep your alien mouth shut, you got that?
The Doctor popping up behind them: It’s rude to whisper.

The Doctor: Hi. I’m the Doctor. And you are, ah… van Baalen and van Baalen. Van Baalen and van Baalen. That’s going to get confusing later.
Gregor: We found you drifting.
Bram: Yeah, your ship was junked up pretty bad.
The Doctor: What broke my ship was a magno-grab. Found this remote in your pocket, eh? What are the chances. Outlawed in most galaxies, this little beastie can disable whole vessels. Unless you have shield oscillators. Which I turned off so Clara could fly. Damn it! {realizing} Clara. Where is she? A girl about… so high. Feisty. She’s still onboard.
Tricky: No, wait! Your pod is leaking fuel. If she’s still in there, she’s dead.

The Doctor: What if I can guarantee you the best haul you’ve ever had?
Gregor: Bram, open the bay doors.
The Doctor: No no. Please stop. Listen. Listen. Right behind those doors is the salvage of a lifetime.

Clara: Red flashing light. Means something bad. Get out of here fast? Or possibly, whatever you do, don’t open this door. {she thinks it over then opens the door to a huge fireball} Bad decision.

Gregor: I don’t get it. I thought she was lying on her side.
The Doctor: The TARDIS is special. She has her own gravity. I’d explain if I had some charts and a board pen.

Bram: How big is this baby?
The Doctor: Picture the biggest ship you’ve ever seen. Are you picturing it?
Bram: Yeah.
The Doctor: Good. Now forget it. Because this ship is infinite.
Gregor: It’ll take you hours to find the girl.
The Doctor: Days. Plus this whole ship is toxic. She’d be dead by the time I reach her. So. Here’s the mission. We’re gonna find her in one hour.
Gregor: We?
The Doctor: You’re my guys for this.
Gregor: That wasn’t the deal.
The Doctor: It is now.
Bram: What makes you think we’ll help?
The Doctor: I just activated the TARDIS self-destruct system. One hour ’til this ship blows. {Bram heads for the door} Don’t try to leave. The TARDIS is in lock down. I’ll open those doors when Clara is by my side.
Bram: You crazy lunatic!
The Doctor: My ship, my rules!
Gregor: You’ll kill us all. And the girl.
The Doctor: She’s going to die if you don’t help me. Don’t get into a spaceship with a madman. Didn’t anyone ever teach you that?

The Doctor: Okay, a little gentle persuasion. Say, 30 minutes.
Bram: She’ll die even quicker now!
The Doctor: We all perform better under pressure. Anybody want to go for 15 minutes? {the guys all stop him} It’s your own time you’re wasting. Salvage of a lifetime. You meant the ship. I meant Clara.

Gregor: Report. What’s on board this thing?
Sensor: Dynamorphic generators. Conceptual geometer. Beam synthesizer. Orthagonal engine filters.

The Doctor: Don’t touch a thing. The TARDIS will get huffy if you mess.

Clara in the library: Now that’s just showing off.

Sensor: Everything.
Gregor: What? Report.
Sensor: Everything. Behind that door.
Gregor: Everything?
Sensor: Sensor detects: everything you could possibly want. {he enters} Everything.
Gregor: I don’t understand. Give me a price tag.
Sensor: Incalculable.
Gregor: What?
Sensor: More valuable than the total sum of any currency. Living metal. Bespoke engineering. Whatever machine you require this system will build it.

The Doctor: I can feel a TARDIS tantrum coming on.

Gregor: What the hell is this place?
The Doctor: Architectural reconfiguration system. It reconstructs particles according to your needs.
Gregor: A machine that makes machines?
The Doctor: Yes. Basically.

Gregor: What the? Where’s the door gone?
The Doctor: Ever seen a spaceship get ugly?
Gregor: This isn’t happening.
The Doctor: She won’t relinquish it. Her basic genetic material.

Gregor: Torch it. {Tricky hesitates} I said torch it!
Tricky: Can’t you feel it, Gregor? The ship… The ship’s in torment. Like it’s a living thing. You can’t hurt it.

Reading from The History of the Time War
Clara: So that’s who…

Gregor: It’s the same. It’s just the same!
The Doctor: It’s diverting us. Spinning a maze around us. We will never reach Clara in time.

The Doctor: Smart bunch, Time Lords. No dress sense. Dreadful hats. But smart.

The Doctor: The console room. It’s the safest place on the ship. It can replicate itself any number of times. It’s trying to protect us.
Tricky: Because I tried to give back the circuit?
The Doctor: Thank TARDIS.

Sensor: Unidentified human.
The Doctor: It doesn’t know Lancashire.
Gregor: What?
The Doctor: It doesn’t know Sass. Yes! It’s Clara. It’s found her. She’s right… There. {he grabs her}

The Doctor: I’m so so sorry. Sorry. Please please forgive me, Clara. {she punches him} Ow! Okay, so we’re not doing hugging. I get that now.
Clara: What do you keep in here? Why have you got zombie creatures? Good guys do not have zombie creatures. Rule one, basic story telling. {she hits him again}
The Doctor: Not in front of the guests.
Clara: Who are they?
The Doctor: Friends. Well, people who aren’t trying to kill us. So I don’t need punching again!

Gregor: All right, all right. Look, a deal’s a deal. You’ve got the girl back, now cancel the auto-destruct.
The Doctor: Ah. Ah! Ha. You know,
I’ve gotta tell you, I won’t be needing you in my quiz team.
Gregor: What?
The Doctor: There is no self-destruct! Heh? Heh! Had you going though, boys, didn’t I? I just wiggled a few buttons. Yeah. The old wiggly button trick. And the face. You’ve gotta do the face. “Save her, or we all die.” I thought I’d rushed it a bit but…
Tricky: So you’re telling us we’re safe.
The Doctor: -ish. Apart from the monsters and the TARDIS reinventing the architecture every five minutes. Guys. Don’t worry. The countdown’s a fake. Look. Just give a second, I’ll turn it off. I only made it look as though the engine was actually exploding. {Engine Status: Overload} Ah. Okay, that’s not good. Okay, don’t panic. Or maybe panic.
Clara: Something you want to share with the rest of us.
The Doctor: It appears the engine was damaged. We’re in trouble, Clara. Proper trouble. It needs fixing or we’re toast.
Clara: So now would be a good time to use that big friendly button, right?
The Doctor: Yes, sorry. I should have had one built in.

Tricky: Where are we going?
The Doctor: Detour. The center of the TARDIS.

Clara: Doctor, what are they? What aren’t you telling me?
The Doctor: Trust me. Some things you don’t want to know.

The Doctor: There’s a rupture of time somewhere on board this ship. A small tear in the fabric of the continuum. It must have happened when the TARDIS was pulled in by the salvage vessel. The TARDIS is leaking.
Clara: Leaking what?
The Doctor: The past.

The Doctor: She’s right on to us!
Clara: She?
The Doctor: Clara, don’t ask me anymore.

Clara: Run?
The Doctor: I’m liking how you’re thinking.
Clara: Yeah.

Tricky: What’s the matter with you? Why won’t you cut me?
The Doctor to Gregor: Tell him.
Tricky: Yo. Tell What?
The Doctor: You can’t, can you? You’re a coward. You won’t save him but you’re scared to tell him why.
Tricky: What’s he going on about?
The Doctor: Robots don’t need blast suits, they don’t need respirators, they don’t get frightened of monsters in the dark.
Tricky: What’s he talking about?
The Doctor: Two bionic eyes and a synthetic voice box. But you my friend are human. Flesh and blood.
Gregor: It was a joke.
Tricky: What?
Gregor: It was just a stupid joke. We did it to relieve the boredom.
The Doctor: Well it was very funny. They lied to you. Changed you identity just to provide some in-flight entertainment.
Gregor: I’m sorry. You’re human, Tricky.
The Doctor: Cut the metal.

The Doctor: We can only survive for a minute or two in there.
Clara tapping him on the shoulder: Um, what happens if we stay longer?
The Doctor: Our cells will liquefy and our skin will start to burn.
Clara: I always feel so good after we’ve spoken.
The Doctor: Marvelous! Keep this door shut.
Clara: That will not be a problem.

Tricky: What sort of human does this to another person? Made them believe they’re made of metal? Who am I?!
Gregor: My mouthy little kid brother.
Tricky: What? Why don’t I remember?
Gregor: It was a salvage accident. Big explosion. You lost your sight, voice and your memory.
Tricky: And you found a way you could have some fun with me? I just wanted a brother beside me!
Gregor: You were always the smart one, Tricky. He wanted you to take over. He made you Captain.
Tricky: He?
Gregor: Dad.
Tricky: I don’t… I don’t remember him.

Tricky: You did this to me just to be captain of a heap of junk?

The Doctor: The Eye of Harmony. Exploding star. In the act of becoming a black hole. Time Lord engineering. You rip the star from its orbit, suspend it in a permanent state of decay.

Clara: What’s the use of secrets now?
The Doctor: Secrets protect us! Secrets make us safe.
Clara: We’re not safe!

Clara: That’s me.
The Doctor: I’m so sorry.
Clara: That’s me. I burn in here.
The Doctor: It isn’t just the past leaking out through the time rift. It’s the future. Listen, I brought you here to keep you safe but it happened again. You died again.
Clara: What do you mean again?

The Doctor: Hang on. As long as we interrupt the timeline, this can’t happen. Don’t touch each other, otherwise the future will reassert itself.

The Doctor: The engine room. The heart of the TARDIS.
Clara: We’re outside!
The Doctor: No, we’re still in the TARDIS.
Clara: There’s no way across.
The Doctor: No? Okay, You’re right.

Clara: If you don’t have a plan we’re dead.
The Doctor: Yes. We are. So just tell me.
Clara: Tell you what?
The Doctor: Well, there’s no point now. We’re about to die, just tell me who you are.
Clara: You know who I am.
The Doctor: No I don’t. I look at you every single day and I don’t understand a thing about you. Why do I keep running into you?
Clara: Doctor, you invited me. You said that–
The Doctor: Before that! I met you at the Dalek Asylum. There was a girl in a ship wreck and she died saving my life. And she was you!
Clara: She really wasn’t.
The Doctor: Victorian London. There was a governess who was really a barmaid and we fought the Great Intelligence together. She died and it was my fault. And she was you!
Clara: You’re scaring me.
The Doctor: What are you, eh? A trick? A trap!
Clara: I don’t know what you’re talking about!
The Doctor: You really don’t, do you?
Clara: I think I’m more scared of you right now than anything else on that TARDIS.
The Doctor: You’re just Clara, aren’t you? Oh!
Clara: Okay, I don’t know what the hell this is about but the hug is really nice.

The Doctor: We’re not going to die here. This isn’t real. It’s a snarl.
Clara: What?
The Doctor: What does a wounded animal do? It tries to scare everyone away. We’re close to the engine. The TARDIS is snarling at us, trying to frighten us off. We need to jump.
Clara: You’re insane!
The Doctor: We’ll cross a portal to the engine.
Clara: How can you be so sure?
The Doctor: Well. I can’t.
Clara: Okay then. Well, that’s water-tight.
The Doctor: Hey! Now, Clara. I have piloted this ship for over 900 years. Trust me this one time please. Okay. Okay. As well as all the other times. Ready? {she nods} Geronimo.

The Doctor: The heart of the TARDIS. This engine, it’s already exploded. It must have been the collision with the salvage ship.
Clara: We’re not dead.
The Doctor: She wrapped her hands around the force. Froze it.
Clara: So… so it’s safe?
The Doctor: Temporary fix. Eventually this whole place will erupt. There’s no way I can save her now. She’s just always been there for me and taken care of me and now it’s my turn and I don’t know what to do. It just… {he sees her hand} Oh Clara. Oh. You are beautiful. Beautiful fragile human skin. Like parchment. Thank you. Ah, the rift in time, all the memory is leaking out. I need to find the moment we crashed. I need to find… Music.

The Doctor: The time rift! Recent past, possible future.
Clara: What are you going to do?
The Doctor: Rewrite today, I hope. I’ve thrown this through the rift before. I need to make sure this time I take it in there myself. There might be a certain amount of yelling.
Clara: Is it going to hurt?
The Doctor: Things that end your life often do that.

Clara: Wait! All those things you said. How we… met before, how I died.
The Doctor: Clara, don’t worry. You’ll forget. Time mends us, it can mend anything.
Clara: I don’t want to forget. Not all of it. The library. I saw it. You were mentioned in a book.
The Doctor: I’m mentioned in a lot of books.
Clara: You call yourself Doctor. Why do you do that? You have a name, I’ve seen it. In one corner of that tiny–
The Doctor: If I rewrite today you won’t remember. You won’t go looking for my name.
Clara: We’ll still have secrets?
The Doctor: Yeah. It’s better that way.

The Doctor: Doctor! Doctor! I’m from your future. We haven’t got long. There’s a reset time! {he throws the device}

The Doctor: Big friendly button! Ha! {he resets time}

Hey robot. Go get me some food. I’m starving.
Oi! Leave him alone.
What’s the matter with you?
Maybe I’ve just got a little tiny scrap of decency.

Clara: I feel exhausted. I feel…
The Doctor: We’ve had two days crammed into the space of one.
Clara: Why would you say that?
The Doctor: I don’t know. I say stuff. Ignore me. Do you feel safe?
Clara: Of course.
The Doctor: Give me a number out of ten. Ten being “woo hoo”. One being… “augh!”
Clara: You’re being weird.
The Doctor: I need to know if you feel safe. I need to know you’re not afraid.
Clara: Of?
The Doctor: The future. Running away with a space man in a box. Anything can happen to you.
Clara: That’s what I’m counting on.