Time Heist

The Doctor: The Satanic Nebula. Or… the Lagoon of Lost Stars. Or we could go to Brighton. I’ve got a whole day worked out.

Danny (Samuel Anderson): 7:15. Meeting me, you are. Date. Second one.
Clara: Got words out. Not in the right order. But hey, maths teacher.

Clara about the ringing TARDIS phone: There you go, you’ve got another play mate.
The Doctor: Hardly anyone in the universe has that number.
Clara: Well I’ve got it.
The Doctor: Yes. And some woman in a shop. We still don’t know who that was.
Clara: Is that her now?
The Doctor: There are very few people that it could be.
Clara: Don’t!
The Doctor: Why not?
Clara: Because if you answer it something will happen?
The Doctor: What?
Clara: A thing.
The Doctor: It’s just a phone, Clara. Nothing happens when you answer a phone.

Saibra (Pippa Bennett-Warner): What is that thing?
The Doctor: It’s a memory worm. Deletes your memories.

The Architect: This is a recorded message. I am the Architect. Your last memory is of receiving a contact from an unknown agency: me. Everything since has been erased from your minds. Now pay close attention to this briefing. This is the Bank of Karabraxos. The most secure bank in the galaxy. A fortress for the super-rich. If you can afford your own star system, this is where you keep it. No one sets foot on the planet without protocols. All movement is monitored, all air consumption regulated. DNA is authenticated at every stage. Intruders will be incinerated. Each vault, buried deep in the the earth, is accessed by a drop slot on the planet’s surface. It’s atomically sealed—an unbreakable lock. The atoms have all been scrambled. Your presence on this planet is unauthorized. A team will have been dispatched to terminate you. Your survival depends on following my instructions. All the information you need is in this case. The Bank of Karabraxos is impregnable. The Bank of Karabraxos has never been breached. You will rob the Bank of Karabraxos.

Guard (Mark Ebulue): Open up, and you shall be humanely disposed of.
Saibra checking the room: There’s another exit.
The Doctor: What are you doing?
Psi (Jonathan Bailey) plugging into the case: Downloading.
The Doctor: Augmented. Nice.
Guard: Please stand away from the door! We do not wish to hurt you before incineration!

The Doctor: Augmented human. Computer-augmented, yes? Mainframe in your head.
Psi: I’m a gamer. Sorry, who put you in charge?
The Doctor: You’re a liar. That’s a prison code on your neck.
Psi: I’m a hacker. Slash… bank robber.
The Doctor: Good! This is a good day to be a bank robber. {to Saibra} Mutant human. What kind of mutant?
Saibra: Like he says, why are you in charge now?
The Doctor: It’s my special power. What’s yours?
Saibra: I touch living cells, I can replicate the owner.

Clara: We’re actually going to do it? Rob the bank?
The Doctor: I don’t think we have a choice. We’ve already agreed to.

The Doctor: Question one: robbing banks is easy if you’ve got a TARDIS. So why am I not using it?
Clara: Question two: where is the TARDIS?
The Doctor: Okay, that probably should be question one.

Saibra as the businessman: What is that?
The Doctor: I don’t know. Hate not knowing.

The Doctor: Interesting.
Saibra: What is?
The Doctor: The latest thing in sniffer dogs. Telepathic.

Ms. Delphox (Keeley Hawes): Ah. Criminal intent detected. How naughty. What was your plan? Counterfeit currency in your briefcase, perhaps?
Suited Customer (Junior Laniyan): No, not at all. For God’s sake—
Ms. Delphox: It really doesn’t matter. We’ll establish the details later. The Teller is never wrong when it comes to guilt. {The Teller growls} Your account will now be deleted, and obviously your mind. Supper time.

The Doctor: There must be a plan.
Clara: What if the plan is we’re blowing up the floor for someone else? What if we’re not supposed to make it out alive?
The Doctor: Ah, don’t be so pessimistic. It’ll affect team morale.
Saibra: What, and getting us blown up won’t?
The Doctor: Well only very, very briefly.

The Doctor: Picture the thing you want most in the universe and decide how badly you want it. {silence} Well?
Psi: Still don’t understand why you’re in charge.
The Doctor: Basically it’s the eyebrows.

The Doctor: Come on then, Team Not Dead.

The Doctor: Ever since that first case was opened, we’ve been targets. The more we know about why we’re here, the louder our guilt screams. That’s why we wiped our memories: for our own safety.

The Doctor: Now once I open this, I can’t close it again.
Psi: Would it be safer if on;y one of us opened it?
The Doctor: I’m waiting for you to volunteer.

Psi: I was interrogated in prison. And I guess I panicked. I didn’t want to be a risk the people close to me.
Clara: You deleted your friends?
Psi: My friends… anyone who ever helped me. My family.
Clara: Your family?
Psi: Of course my family.

The Doctor: Aren’t you going to ask me?
Saibra: Why did you lie? Those hardware things, you know what they are.
The Doctor: Exit strategy of sorts. How did you know I was lying?
Saibra: I’ve had a lot of faces. I find them easy to read.
The Doctor: Quite a gift.
Saibra: Gift?
The Doctor: Got us in here.
Saibra: Mutant gene. No one can touch me. If they do, I transform. Touch me, Doctor, and you’ll be looking at yourself. I am alone.
The Doctor: Why?
Saibra: Could you trust someone who looked back at you out of your own eyes?

Saibra: When you meet the Architect, promise me something. Kill him.
The Doctor: I hate him too, but I can’t make that promise.

Clara: Are you okay?
The Doctor: No, I’m an amnesiac robbing a bank. Why would I be okay?

Clara: Underneath it all, he isn’t really like that.
Psi: It’s very obvious that you’ve been with him awhile.
Clara: Why?
Psi: Because you are really good at the excuses.

Psi: Clara! For what it’s worth—and it might not be worth much—when your whole life flashes in front of you, you see people you love, and people missing you. And I see no one.

Voice: Failed. Vault unlocking failed.
Clara trying the vault: It’s not opening! Psi. He died for nothing.

The Doctor: Of course. Stupid, stupid Doctor. Of course, of course.
Clara: Of course what?
The Doctor: Whoever planned all this, they’re in the future. This isn’t just a bank heist. It’s a time travel heist. We’ve been sent back in time to the exact moment of the storm to be in exactly the right place when it hits, because that’s the only time the bank is vulnerable.
Voice: Vault unlocked.
The Doctor: The bank is now open.

The Doctor: So the big question is this: what did we come for?
Clara: PV.
The Doctor: Private Vault.

Ms. Delphox: Intruders are most welcome. They remind us that the bank is impregnable. It’s good for morale to have a few of you scattered about the place.

The Doctor about the Teller: How can you force it to obey?
Ms. Delphox: Oh, everything has a price tag I think you’ll find.

The Doctor: Don’t do this. I’m having a very bad day and I do not want to be pushed around.
Guard: You’re wrong.
The Doctor: Wrong?
Guard: It’s not that bad a day. And you’re being very slow.
The Doctor: Why are you undoing my handcuffs? {the guard morphs into…} Saibra?
Saibra: Yeah.
Psi to Clara: You look like death. It was actually a teleporter.
Clara: Oh my god!
Psi: Good, eh? You think we’re dead so the Teller thinks we’re dead, and we played the creature at its own mind games.

The Doctor: There you go. Job done. Paid in full. Clever old Architect.
Saibra: Very clever.
The Doctor: I still hate him.
Saibra: Me too.
Psi: How were you paid?
The Doctor: I don’t know. There’s something in the private vault.

The Doctor: Director Karabraxos. Excuse us, but we’ve come to rob you.

Psi: Sorry, you don’t get on with your own clone?
The Doctor: She hates her own clones. She burns her own clones. Frankly, you’re a career break for the right therapist.

The Doctor: Shut up. Everybody, just shut up.
Director Karabraxos: And what is this display? Now, as amusing as you are—
The Doctor: Shut up. Just shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shuttity up up up. What… what did you say? What did, what did you say? What did you say about your own eyes? De-shut up. Say it again!
Saibra: “How can you trust someone if they look back at you out of your own eyes.”
The Doctor: I know one thing about the Architect. What is it I know about the Architect? I know one thing, something that I have known from the very start.
Clara: What?
The Doctor: I hate him! He’s overbearing, he’s manipulative. He likes to think that he’s very clever. I hate him! Clara, don’t you see? I hate the Architect!
Karabraxos: What in the name of sanity is going on in this room now?
The Doctor: We’re getting sanity judgment from the self-burner.

Karabraxos: And what are you doing now?
The Doctor: I’m giving you my telephone number.
Karabraxos: Why?
The Doctor: Well, I thought you might like to call me someday. {the note reads “I’m a time traveller” on the front} Sorry, I thought we were getting along famously. Am I like, misreading the signals or something?

Clara: Are you remembering?
The Doctor: No. Not a thing. But I’m understanding.
Clara: What? What is it? What are you understanding?
The Doctor: I’m not sure yet. I need my memory back. And I think that there’s only one way to do that.
Clara: Which would be?
The Doctor: Soup.
Clara: Soup? {the Teller enters}
The Doctor: Hello, big man. Peckish?

The Doctor: There are so many memories in here. Feast on them! Tuck in! Big scarf. Bow tie—bit embarrassing. What do you think of the new look? I was hoping for minimalism, but I think I came out with magician.

Clara: What exactly are we doing here? That thing killed people.
The Doctor: Well so might you do, to protect everything you loved.

The Doctor: This wasn’t a bank heist. It never was. It was a rescue mission. For a whole species.

Saibra: See? I don’t have your face now.
The Doctor: I kind of miss that.
Saibra: Oh shut up.

Clara: See ya. Don’t rob any banks.
The Doctor: Don’t rob any banks what?
Clara: Without me.
The Doctor: ‘Course not, boss.

The Doctor: Robbin’ a bank. Robbin’ a whole bank. Beat that for a date.